Things to do in Copenhagen when you’re dead

So I had a course in London and me and my colleague thought it would be fun to go clubbing the night before. So what do you do when your in a foreign city and you don’t know your way around? You ask a stranger where to go.

We end up in this dark underground hip-hop club and, after paying the equivilant to a months wages in Zimbabwe to get in, get to work. After bustin’ some moves this scantily clad lady comes up to me and speaks the words “you guys are very brave”. I take another look around and see everyone staring at us. Lets just say that with our office uniforms and northern tan we didn’t really fit in.

We kick it oldschool for a couple hours more and stumbled back to our hotel. A sudden shiver worked it’s way up my spine as I realized I had to be at this course in 3 hours and had no idea where to go. After some hardcore google’ing we find out its like 5 minutes away from our hotel and I take a well deserved powernap before waking up to the sound of my crackberry.

I go down to get some breakfast (runny scrambled eggs baby!), chill for a little bit and decide to call my roommate who is now 40 minutes late. He picks up the phone and proceeds to murmer that “it’s London time you idiot” and hangs up the phone. Nice.

So after a non-eventfull couple of days I got home. I get a call from my american friend James. His Polish-American connection Brian was in the CPH and he asked me to put him up for a couple of days. It was weekend again and Brian and I decided it was time for some decadency. We did it rockstar style and showed up at 21.30 in a rikshaw to eat at this michelin star restaurant. We had the most money meal I ever had, after which we went to two of the coolest places in Copenhagen; Ruby’s cocktail bar and Nasa nightclub.

The next day we go to this houseparty, made some new friends and had this Taxi driver scream at me for ‘not having a drivers licence because I might need it when the war breaks out’.

Truly, things to do in Copenhagen when you’re dead.

Bromance in The Berlin

So me and the bro’s always make ‘plans’ to go away for long weekends, meaning someone would say ‘city X is awesome’ and the rest says ‘lets go.’

A couple of weeks later someone then writes an email with some suggestions, everyone says ok and then completely ignores all the follow-up emails expecting the initial email -writer to take care of everything.

A week before arrival we book a flight and show up completely unprepared (Hell, this time I didnt even bring a phone number of the guys (I got a new phone), I was lucky someone texted me or I would have had to wonder the streets in despair).

It is then time for complaining.

It seemed that Joel had booked us a working mans’ villa in an area that was mostly inhabited by the ‘little people’. To make things worse it was an hour and a half away from the city in the chaos that is Berlins’ public transport. Nice.

Even though we all had a chance to weigh in on the matter of accommodation It was obviously Joels fault for not arranging things too our standard when he has been trusted with such an important task. And while we were complaining most of the trip, our accomplishments were twofold:

1. We revolutionized the world of tourist picture taking

Have you seen those boring and static pictures in front of equally boring tourist attractions? Well, no more. A revolution in tourist-picture-taking called ‘Jumping Pictures’ is sweeping the globe, and you too can be part of it! This is how it works:

When the Photo Taker (A) is about ready to impress a photo on the ‘Photo Device’ the Photo Subjects (B) tighten their leg muscles. When ‘A’ signals the all-clear, ‘B’ release their leg muscle and trust themselves in an upward vertical motion. ‘A’ then presses a button on the ‘Photo Device’ after which a ‘Jumping Picture’ has been made resulting in glorious pictures as can be seen below.

Jumpin’ it In front of Checkpoint Charlie.

2. We rocked happy hour like it has never been rocked before

Because of the ‘housing-situation’ we had decided to only leave the house once a day. We go out to the city in the morning and come back the next. Since you can only take jumping pictures for so long there had to be a fair amount of drinking.

Think of Happy hour. An upscale sushi & cocktail bar at 6. Five guys. 2 hours. A table full of cocktails & sushi and a bill that could support a small African nation. It was awesome and a real bro’s weekend.

Cause True Bromance Never Dies,

Bart - “Blog-Rockin-Beats since ‘00″

PS. I’m happy to report that me and the Swede found a new apartment! Everyone is welcome! It’s very near to Frederiksberg Center, very roomy and in a great area and building. It’s only for five months though so we are on the lookout for a new one (tips anyone?).  Also, I’m coming to Holland the 29th of May, hit me up on +4531667820 for an opportunity to meet the kid. First come, first serve ;).

A Glorious Map Of 7-Elevens In Copenhagen

Like I wrote before we are huge fans of the 7-Eleven. It is simply the greatest store on earth and I’m still positive that the world will recognize this by using the phrase:

“The 7-Eleven of …” to indicate greatness.

Since we have become regulars of the sevy (its an endearing nickname) I have become a 7-Eleven VIP customer (VIP pass included) and have discovered that sevy’s are so popular in Sweden they need a doorman to keep the customers from trampling the place.

Now, as a tribute to greatness and glory we are mapping all the Sevy’s we have visited. Without further ado, I give you: The Map.

All work and no play. (Well, not really)

My lifelong wish of going to a Danish opera came true.

It was Hitlers favorite opera, The Merry Widow or Den Glade Enke in danish. Of course I didn’t understand shit, but it was nice non the less. Not in the least because of the venue; the Copenhagen Opera House is the most expensive opera house ever built and sits beautifully on the docks of Copenhagen.

There is something to be said about Danish Culture. Beautiful architecture, the happiest people on earth, great food & nightlife and lets not forget…the highest percentage of people with one night stands. It is a great country. Where else do you get a 5 day easter holiday and free health care (Sweden??) ?

Speaking about The Sweden, I just went down to Malmo. This is the city people say about “the only good thing about Malmo is that it’s close to Copenhagen”. You can imagine I was pretty excited to go there. Turns out these people are ever so slightly wrong. Yes, it’s not that exciting. No, there isn’t much to do. But hey, if a city has a tunnel museum, a antique boot museum (real scale boats baby!) it is good in my book. Seriously though; the city is worth a trip from Copenhagen if only for it’s great architecture.

Thinking about all the stuff I have done lately I have to say, it doesn’t feel like I’ve been working 10 hour days. I guess a little creativity with time and dedication to partying can go a long way. I feel great. The new job is awesome if only for the fact that for the first time in years I’m only working with competent people (don’t get me wrong, I loved my old colleagues but they weren’t all easy to work with). Also, the company is really dedicated to giving people a nice working experience.

I guess I got really lucky. (This was an attempt to sound modest, of course it’s because I’m just that good )

Until next time, keep it unreal,

The flying dutchman (damn, I wish one of these nicknames would stick)

I Smurfed a Job, Celebrated in Amsterdam

From Amsterdam airport James and me went straight to my moms’ house. She didn’t know I was coming. As I had my friend pretend to have lost his keys it was a big surprise I was standing at her door with a nice bouquet of flowers.

After my little sister explained the reason for the smurfs’ return to Holland to James (you spend 15 euro’s and get a free smurf!!)  we were off to the Amsterdam only to leave our luggage and go party in Utrecht. Wednesday till Friday we partied in Amsterdam even stopping at club Van Gogh - there was a freakin  DJ playing at the museum - and Saturday we made it in Nijmegen.

While I normally don’t need a reason for Grand and Sensational Partying it was necessary this week. Why is that? The first of March I am starting a new job at Saxo Bank. I will be the new Online Media Coordinator, which is exactly the job I was smurfing for.

Suits everyday, a great salary, a fantastic job… I am sooo not going to miss my temp jobs.

Gifts and congratulations can be send to my home address

We must let’s go. How we took Poland one bar at a time.

Arriving in Poland was something of a interesting experience. Landing on a military airport - abandonent planes, military structures and thick fog gave it a eary look - was something out of Hollywood cold war movie.

Taking the back exit of the train station we arrived in an area that was closely reminiscent of the ghetto I grew up in (ok, not really). Asking for directions led us trough the front where the good folks of Poland had erected a huge mall. The little people must come in trough the back.

I was invited to Krakow by my American friend James and swiftly John and Olof joined me to make a party crew the PL had never seen before. Sometimes rolling with more then 30 people, we turned every bar into a private party. Kings of Krakow.

It really wasn’t as much a depressing concrete jungle as I had expected. The architecture, friendly people, studenty atmosphere and cheap drinks made it a place I will definitely visit again. When we were finished with a 7 day streak of clubbing we slept 2 hours before going to the airport. We had to use James’ German friends’ interesting English vocabulary one more time;

We must let’s go.

Even the bums are more expensive in Sweden.

Christmas in the Sweden. What can I say.

My friend Olof took me to his parents house in Olofstorp near Göteborg. Leaving from Copenhagen was a little more complicated than planned (pushing his car for fuckin half an hour) but we got there in the end. It was his sisters’ (Camilla) sons’ birthday and the Famous Grouse was waiting for me when I got there. Turns out his family is as much fun as he is.

In the house were staying 2 of Olof’s sisters, his parents, Camilla and her son, her two very cool Australian friends and me. With so many people around it was almost like home. The week was off to a great start.

Next day I went to a - yes! - karaoke party. These guys had such a sweet setup (a stage, mics and the whole deal) I seriously considered declaring my everlasting allegiance to the Swedish flag..then and there. Next day we had a singstar party at Olof’s place. To the everlasting shame of the red team we lost despite a moral victory and I went to bed a broken man.

Christmas day was to be spent at Henrik’s house. Now, let me tell you about Swedish Christmases. They take the snaps and the singing very seriously. Here’s the deal; you have to sing before you drink. As the night progresses my swedish got better and better (schnaps, yeeeh!). At one point Olof thought I had secretly practiced my Swedish. I was that good.

Another fun filled dinner later Olof, me and Camilla went too a club in Göteborg. Fun, fun, fun. I attended a church singing, and the rest of my free time was basically filled with shopping for Olof’s Christmas gifts. When we went home by bus I had apparantly found the only bum in Sweden. Olof was in the bathroom and with nothing giving him away as a bum (man, this was one classy-ass bum) I was talking to him for a good 30 seconds when he started asking me for money.

He told me that he needed to get to a place 50 km from there and asked me for 20 euro’s. He was probably intending of taking a limo there. When I refused he started to point at his arm, waving it and screaming at me - like a threat -”Look, I’m black, I’m black”. I could barely stop laughing long enough to tell him to fuck off. But damn, the comedy alone was worth 20 euro’s.

Back in the CPH my friends Joel, Jonathan, James and Sebastiaan were to arrive any minute. We went straight from the car to the bar and then got busy. It was like that all week. I spent NY’s with them at a students’ party and, after 2 weeks of partying, I am ready for some sleep.

Happy New Year,

Bart

ps. A bunch of you got two Christmas cards.  It’s a long story but I thought the first ones didn’t get mailed.

Glædelig jul og godt nytår!

So right after returning from France I get this email: we are coming this weekend and arriving at about 7. It was from some of my dutch friends and apparently they had decided to come with the 4 of them.

I had of course discussed this earlier but as the signs of Korsakoff’s syndrome have set in early I had about two days for preparations. They would have to sleep at Zie Germans’ place even though Zie Germans themselves didn’t know it yet.

As many of my friends and family can confirm I am great with planning. Not so much. This is also the reason I am staying in Copenhagen for Christmas. Not supporting the local economy in France and buying a ticket to Holland would have been the smart thing to do. Instead I will be spending Christmas with my good friend Olof who is taking me to Sweden.

For New Years it seems my dutch friends are to visit me again. As last weekend here turned out a great succes there is something to say about all this spontaneity. I am looking forward to the holiday season.

Glædelig jul og godt nytår!

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Some random pictures from the last couple of weeks:

On our visit to a chateaux in St. Emelion we met some other international students and took a completely spontaneous picture. The guy posing as superman is Atilla. The picture below is made in the same town in a church courtyard.

The Dutch guys’ weekend here was extensively covered by our in-house photographer (long story, don’t ask) Joel. I’ll save you most of them but here’s a few highlights:

Posing at the main square (something with radhusplads?) From left to right: Erik, Jonathan, Steven and me

Steve is very fashionable as you can see.

So the French just ran out of wine.

Hey guys and gals!

Just got back from The France for a ten day leisurely adventure of epic proportions. It was truly grand. I stayed at my friend Atilla’s house in the suburbs of Bordeaux and there was much partying involved. I digress.

I left from The Copenhagen by bus  in the afternoon - the only way to travel trough europe; cheap, adventurous and really feeling like a journey instead of a two hour flight - and I arrived in Paris at 9 the next morning. Someone at Eurolines was mistaken to tell me there was a bus going to Bordeaux so instead I travelled in luxury by TGV train.  I had a couple of hours to kill in Paris so I wondered off to the Eiffel tower. Meanwhile I was getting worried ’cause both my phones had ran out of batteries. The only number to contact Ati was in my Danish phone to which I didn’t remember the pincode.

It was at a typical Paris sidewalk cafe - enjoying 7 euro beers - that I came across some talented girls from Belgium who helped me out with a pen and I managed somehow to get the number from my dutch phone. I finally called Atilla from a French public phone with a call card - after trying different phones and number combinations. It was all working out and Grande Awesomeness was bound to happen.

Once arrived in Bordeaux the week started with some movies, parties, a visit to the beach, more movies and ended up with a visit to a nice chateaux in the Bordeaux region. I met some wonderful people, ate a great deal of French cheese and drunk up the entire 2007 wine reserve of French.

I was amazed by the snootiness of the French. Maybe it was the language barrier but except for the occasional drunk singing French in the tram I didn’t do much international relations. The international students were as awesome as ever. Perhaps it is because of our similar nature and situation but wherever I go in the world I meet incredible people at their parties.

At the end of the long week I jumped out of Ati’s car with mixed feelings. He’s a great friend and I will probably not see him for a while. Like Neal and Jack in the wonderfull book ‘On The Road’ - which Ati recommended me to read on the way back - we will surely meet in a later traveling adventure.  The mixed part was that I was looking forward to seeing Paris and home - oh sweet home - again.

Because of a strike of all the lazy public transport personnel in France - did you notice I’m a public-transport-nazi yet? - I left a day early and got to spend the night in Paris in a great hostel called ‘Love & Peace’. The name instantly appealed to me. I spent my evening in Paris talking to a Jewish girl over Kosher food in a dive I found by accident.

After a healthy power-nap I went to explore the Paris nightlife for a bit. I had spent all but two hours trying to find a club recommended by the hostel guy but - testifying to my incredible navigational instinct - found the other place he told me about in a completely different part of town. All by accident of course.

I spent some time in the irish pub with gurls from Sheffield, England (said in a horrible northern accent). We immediately bonded. After a couple of beers I took a cab back to the hostel.

Next morning I was rudely awakened by the cleaning man. He kicked me out of the bed and I arrived unshaven and unshowered at the Seine riverside. Now, getting there was no easy feet - thanks to the lazy fucks of French public transport - but when I arrived I was all Zen And Shit. Mostly because it was a beautiful day to explore the monumental architecture of the city of love and partly because I was still drunk.

In the evening I took the bus back to Copenhagen - took me about 18 hours - and I saw all was good.

—

To everyone who wants to reach me; it’s easiest to call me on +4531667820 or mail me at bw . burggraaf ( at ) gmail dot com. I am usually too lazy/busy to  respond to comments… they are greatly appreciated though!

Operation ‘Get a REAL Job’ commencing

So I’ve had it with dish washing and crappy jobs. Yes, already. Granted, my skills in dish washing, sandwich preparing and maneuvering trough danish public transport have vastly improved… It is  - sadly - not enough. The danish catering industry is going to have to do without me.

As a good start to operation ‘Get a REAL Job’ I applied for two jobs in online marketing. The good thing is that I’m very well qualified for what is essentially still a niche, the bad news is that - as a result one might say - these jobs are hard to come by. Especially with no Danish in freakin’ Denmark.

Maybe someone in the ever growing crowd of keen ‘Bart in Copenhagen’ blog-readers can help, but I will count on no such thing. It’s up to me to network, write letters and call until someone gives in and brings me a job..out of pitty

In the meantime I will keep working to support my lazy ass which means still more dish washing, sandwich making and danish public transport navigating. It is all good.  This Sunday I’m visiting my good Hungarian friend Ati in Bordeaux for some well deserved R&R. I’ll be back the 14th of November.

Peace out!